Healing the harms of our childhood is one the hardest things we can do, but it's necessary.
I spent many years absorbing the blame for my perpetrator and exhausted every possible avenue of attempting to “get along” with them. When I finally went no contact, it took another 10 years to feel safe enough to fully embrace my past and grieve. Even though I thought I had done quite a bit of work along the way, it has taken an entire lifetime for me to come to terms with certain aspects of the abuse. You too will have memories locked away, some were buried under misplaced guilt and shame.